It was up and down, turn around, what? wait a minute, what? for a while. Transitioning to life after homeschool, for me, was a around your elbow to get to your thumb journey. The problem was that I have ideas. Too many ideas. Another problem was hormones. Thankfully, women are sharing more about their experiences with hormone craziness later on in life but when it happened to me I thought that I was loosing my ever loving MIND! The icing on the cake was realizing that I have and always have had some version of attention deficiency, in a way that helped to explain so many things.

I will talk about that icing for a minute. Not long, just a minute. At least I will try….

When we became empty nesters and Marco left for work in the mornings it was the first time in ALL OF MY LIFE that I had spent bulk amounts of time alone. All alone in this big old house for hours. I was like a pinball dinging from this room to that, this task to that, I could not decide what to do when and where and how- I would start one thing, then another, then another- and then I would get jammed up in a corner hyper-focusing on a task or book or something until I was jolted out of concentration sometimes by sheer exhaustion and began pinging back and forth again. I can not take off two earrings without getting distracted between ears- I noticed that I can not stand still in front of the bathroom mirror while I brush my teeth that I must walk- I can’t think in a straight line unless I am solving a problem or creating something so my conversations are all over the place because my mind is leaping off on rabbit trails as I talk AND listen- I have to make a list to remember ANYTHING- I can be productive and efficient and reliable for hours or days then crash and not able to complete one thought much less one task. It quickly dawned on me that I was always like this. And that it was ME. That I was the problem, its me. You see, I always thought the children or the other people in my family were the reason I could not focus, so I just adjusted and went on with my life. They were always talking to me, asking me things, needing something, welcoming me into their lives and fun. I thought that is just the way parenthood and being part of a large family is like, that it rattles your brain!!! But nope. My brain is crazy. I am learning to recognize more how it works and learning to laugh at and forgive myself but also to learn how to use it for good. Enough about that….

What was I to do with myself after homeschooling? I could have gone back to school, or gotten a full time job somewhere. But I never felt the release to spend that much time away from home or extended family and other commitments. I traveled with the Blooms, more on that another day, but that was only during conference season. I wanted to be a part of my community, to do a good work.. somewhere.. connecting with my neighbors. Somehow, I don’t even remember how, the opportunity to work at our tiny local library that was then squeezed in a corner of the local high school library came my way. I said yes. The first year, I was just the fill in librarian and sometimes would work only three hours a month. I worked my shift, went home and did other things not thinking much about the library as I was still searching for what to do. what to do. what to do???

I had joined the church on the corner, and gotten involved, and embraced my new church family. That was a good first step! For me, a necessary step. I needed to be part of a local church family, and to stay grounded in the Word and to put Christ first in all things, even my desire to serve my community. I was able to become the church librarian. More on that later. This post is about the public library….

Everything changed in the summer of 2023 when the library director asked The Town if the library could move from the corner of the high school into the back part of our old community building. The Town said YES. Now that was something! There was work to do. There was a vision for the library. There was more possibility to serve the community. There was more purpose. The librarians and library supporters rolled up their sleeves and got to work. There were not many of us and we pulled in our families to help, but we took the back of that old building with the help of some donated paint, shelving, and furniture and turned it into a REAL useful public library space. I was immediately ALL IN. We opened in September of 2023. A year later we are going strong and our vision is growing. I am now working library shifts up to three days a week and spending hours of volunteer time working for the community through my role as Hilda, the Small Town Librarian.

I found my place in the community and I absolutely love it.

I posted a long time ago that I wanted to just start typing and whatever came out of my mind would get posted. The hope was to just START and maybe the habit will form. This is what came out of my mind tonight. I hope to continue posting. But who knows what will happen? Will it be months before I share again? or tomorrow?